Confused or Scared? Trying to figure it Out ..

So, finally am relieved from my organisation and it's a bit relief. The weekend was great as I met my old B.N.A.G.S. members: Mrs. S and Mrs. B.. It sounds so strange no. Well, we enjoyed a lot. Now am sitting at home and again the dilemma has started surrounding me. I'm still confused and clueless what exactly I want in various areas of my life. I know, I overthink stuff sometimes, but I need to get it out in any case. So, back to the topic, what I exactly want? Let's start with career. Then, I'll discuss other areas.

Career: Sometimes, I think that I'm done with all what I'd ever wish to achieve and don't want to work anymore. But at the next moment, I think no, I want to be independent as I can't ask my parents for money. It's against my ego or self respect(you might say).

Marriage: Now comes the next hot topic. Well, I will admit that I've always dreamt of that fairy tale and have been waiting for the Mr. Right. But, sometimes, I think no I can't shackle myself to anyone for lifetime, it will suffocate me. Oh god, how horrible.

Partner: If people ask me that what kind of partner you want? I can't explain it. As sometimes even an ordinary looking man attracts me while on the next moment I want a high profile person, whome I can respect and introduce to everyone as if I've won a trophy. Lolz..

Driving: This is the last and the recent concern. My parents ask me to learn driving. Even I want to do that so that I can drive wherever I want to but something incide me holds me back to do so as am scared of accidents.

So, in short, I am not able to understand whether I am confused or scared? Can't I make decisions or are my fears overwhelming me? Really, I need to get a job fast I suppose. Till then, I'll try to figure it out, what I want?

Yup! You have got the Power

As we grow up we learn to speak, to behave properly and other stuff. Though our parents and siblings play an important role in shaping our attitude, friends also leave you with some great experiences and lessons. This reminds me of my very good friend. Yup! You guessed it right that’s my Ex. He always used to say that he always listens to his heart and advised me the same thing. But I never understood his point that time (may be I was too young to understand that). Anyways, breaking off with him made me mature in few days only. Pain inside me compelled me to do self analysis that why did I failed to judge the person. Though everything was clear and right in front of my eyes, but may be I was not ready and willing to see that. And after few days of recovering from my so called precious relationship, I realized that my heart was warning me all the time, but I was the one who was ignoring it just to chase the temporary contentment.

HAPPY REALIZATION! Better be late than never. Finally I have started listening to my heart. I live on my own terms. That doesn’t mean that I don’t adjust with people, but yes I have set my priorities and come what may, I am not gonna compromise them for anybody. That’s what I suggest to my friends now. Listen to your heart. You need not to search God for everything. He’s there in your heart guiding you every moment. You just have to start listening to that Inner voice coming out of your own Heart.